Does love depend on the age of the people in the relationship? Do you both have to have grown up in the same era watching the Wooden Tops or Camberwick Green to truly connect? What if you were born in a different decade, or many different decades apart, can love still survive or is it, even possible?

Today I had Sunday lunch with a girlfriend who is 39. At the wonderful Boisdales in Belgravia, listening to live jazz and eating gorgeous food, she told me about her closest male friend who is 95 and who she believes is her soul mate. Someone who, if he were 40-50 years she would probably have married in a flash. He is caring and gentlemanly, fun and gregarious and ready to go out on cold rainy nights without a single complaint. He compliments her and looks out for her, he advises her and they can also sit in companionable silence because she says ‘its just like I am sitting with myself’. How can this be when there is such a huge age gap between them? Is it possible that real love is ageless?

Over the next few days I am going to blog about the obstacles we put in the way of love. Age is a big one for many people, and then of course there is physical appearance, status, social standing and intellectual similarities – did you go to Oxford University and your partner study at the University of Life? There are so many obstacles that we put in the way of love.

I cannot even count the number of times people have said to me, ‘well he’s perfect if only he had a better job, was fitter or hated football’. Or ‘I really do like her but I am really only attracted to long legs and she is short’, or ‘if only he had more of this and less of that’ and so it goes on.

So today’s big immovable justification is age. Its clear that my friend has found someone who may not have longevity on his side (though I’ve decided to live to 105, so given his great health and faculties, he could have another 10 years yet!), and lets face it, certain connections might be off the menu, but he is behaving towards her in a way that proves to her she is worthy of such attention. This means that she will now not want to settle for less than these qualities in a younger man and that’s a good thing. Everyone is sent to us for a reason. But its clear to her that if it had only been a 10 or even 20 year age gap, she would have found her perfect mate.

For most people though, who are not faced with a 56-year age gap, a ten or twenty year age gap can still seem a lot. But is it really a deal breaker. If you have a mental connection, are attracted to each other physically (which I’m assuming you would be even with a twenty year age gap), and enjoy being together what’s the big deal?

Having researched ‘age difference partners’ and discovered 26 year olds with 70 year olds and 40 year olds with 67 year olds and a million other combinations, all of whom are very happy with each other, it would be hard to believe that all of these people were gold diggers or were looking for a substitute parent. That would just be too glib.

Most of us would agree that finding the right partner is not that easy. Good love is hard to find. We have so many criteria’s that need to be in place before we commit to each other. If we fit in virtually every area except age, should we let age get in the way?

If you are in an ‘age-gap relationship’, I would love to know what makes it work for you and if you are considering an ‘age-gap’ relationship but cannot quite decide if it would work for you then give me a call and lets have a chat.

Love Francine