Have you heard of Circular Dating? No, neither had I. Still not sure who invented the term but apparently it’s a sure fire way to get over your broken heart.
I know you know how difficult it is to get over the end of a relationship and if you are not the one who chose to end it, its doubly difficult. You spend endless hours in deep discussion with yourself debating from every angle how it could have been different, your ex could have been different, you could have been different and you end up in the same place as you began – and its still over.
After a while, (that’s a while based on the ‘how long is a piece of string’ formula), you have had enough of grieving and you wake up one day ready to at least ‘see what’s out there’. That’s the day that Circular Dating begins.
The whole concept is based on dating at least four people at one time. Now I know what you are thinking – ‘I don’t even have enough hours in the week for one date, let alone four’, but the reasoning behind it is that if you are seeing four different people, the chances of getting emotionally involved too quickly with any one person is alleviated.
It’s important to make it clear to the people you are seeing that you are out there dating and are not exclusive with anyone so that everyone knows where they stand. And, it’s perfectly reasonable to be meeting lots of possible suitors – though I’ll admit, it’s less confusing to manage one at a time!
However, right now, if the article I read is to be believed, hundreds of people (albeit across America) are Circular Dating and what works about it is that virtually all of them report that they are very busy with little time to dwell on the past, (no surprise there then) and that the attention they receive from four different people at a time allows them to realize how attractive they are to the opposite sex regardless of whether their ex partner disagrees, and another plus is that they are getting to know very quickly what they want and what they don’t want. So the process of elimination is speeded up.
The Circular Dating game comes to an end when you decide to become exclusive with one of the group, but its imperative to keep four dates on the go until you decide who that is going to be.
The only challenge I can see with this is remembering who everyone is and what he or she has told you about themselves. I don’t know about you but I don’t have the greatest of memories and you really don’t want to muddle any of them up, especially if they have let you know their ‘secret ‘middle name or the fact that they have an extra nipple on their chest (from experience, this is more likely to be a man) or some other very personal revelation. So how about getting yourself some 3 x 5 cards and just jotting down a few bullet points to jog your memory before each meeting or whilst you are on the phone.
This may all be a little tongue in cheek but personally I think it sounds like a very good idea and like any new ideas, my philosophy is always ‘don’t knock it till you’ve tried it’.
So if you do, ‘try it’ that is, I would love to hear from you. Broken hearts are not that easy to heal, and whilst all of you know that I have a whole armory of strategies, if there is anything else that speeds up the process, that’s absolutely fine in my book.
Love Francine
