Oh dear, I am so sorry but I made a mistake. It happens to all of us at one time or another and it’s interesting because I have noticed how hard it is for people to admit their mistakes. It’s a fact that being human comes with a guarantee of slipping up, falling down and getting into all kinds of messy stuff in between. It’s going to happen.

So what have I done? Well, I told the whole world I was on Glastonbury Radio yesterday only I got the wrong Glastonbury Radio! It was even on my home page (the new link is now there). I should have been directing you guys to www.glastonburyradio.com, which is an altogether different station and full of unusual, often alternative and exciting experts and presenters of which I am now one. My new programme ‘Love Radio’ takes place on Tuesdays at 12pm-1pm live, is repeated three further times, and is available on ITunes and globally. Its fully interactive, offers loads of practical advice and you can chat live on Skype or email me at Studio2@glastonburyradio.com. I am so looking forward to lots of comments and opinions and would love your personal questions which I will answer in great detail live on air. (All names changed for privacy of course!).

So that was a mistake that cost me listeners unless they decide to listen again which I would recommend as we covered three super subjects:
• Is Your Relationship Running on Empty?
• Toy Boys – How Low Would You Go?
• Single On A Saturday

The point is that all of us make mistakes ranging from monumental to miniscule and its how you handle them that makes all the difference. Here are my top tips for working your way out of the deep holes that we sometimes dig for ourselves when we don’t clear up our errors.

1) Don’t Rub it In! Imagine you spilled red wine on the carpet. Would you get your heal and rub it in? No of course not. Very quickly you’d clean it up. It’s the same with mistakes. If you make them, admit them and clean them up immediately.

2) Clean Language. If you are going to admit it, say it honestly. No excuses, justifications. (We love justifications. They go something like this: “if he/she hadn’t… If I had more time… If hell had frozen over… Then none of this would have happened and I would not have made a mistake!)
Stop ‘Iffing’ about. ‘If’ is probably the silliest word ever to use to justify your position.
‘If’ didn’t happen. ‘If’ used on its own, is pointless.
‘If’ and its first cousin ‘When’ are often connected in the same sentence and these guys rarely get you anywhere either.
Whatever has happened has happened. Just clean it up.

3) Is it Familiar? Is this a mistake you have made before? If so notice what
behaviours or attitudes accompany it. For example my mistake is
familiar to me because it involves technology. Where ever websites or anything to do with informing people via the web is concerned, I go blank and leave it up to others or misinform them. I did both on this occasion. I’ve learned I need to get my head round this stuff and have my ‘web man’ coming specifically to help me. So what does a familiar mistake have to tell you?

4) Get Out of Your Own Way. Ok, so you made a mistake. Maybe a huge, enormous, put your foot it in it, unbelievably embarrassing or humiliating mistake. Nevertheless, get out of your own way, drop the story about losing face and either apologise, sort it out or get some help to get it cleared up. The more you make it mean negative stuff about you, the more you remain in your own way and the deeper the stain on the ‘carpet’!

5) Just Say Sorry. I have watched intelligent people struggle to get this word out of their mouths. I have also watched intelligent people use this word glibly and far too often. But there is no substitute for the sincere humility of an apology. If you are genuinely sorry, it’s clear that you meant no ill will or bad intention. If you are not genuinely sorry, it will be just as clear that you really couldn’t care less. Say sorry if you mean it. It avoids all kinds of stories, which rarely make any difference, and as a wise woman once said to me ‘darling, brevity is the soul of impact’.

So do you have a confession to make? If it’s a really tricky one, why not call me and I’ll give you the perfect strategy to clear up the perfectly fine mess that you may have gotten yourself into.

Till tomorrow,

Love Francine