"If I'm such a legend, then why am I so lonely? Let me tell you, legends are all very well if you've got somebody around who loves you." Judy Garland

We have lost connection with each other. Judy Garland may have been a legend in her own lunchtime, but if you isolate yourself as she did at critical times in her life, its virtually impossible to feel loved and more than likely that you will feel lonely. If you are contemplating splitting up from your partner or in the process of it, you will know what its like to feel lonely. Combine this with the fact that there are fewer and fewer close-knit communities or even families come to that and its really no surprise that Britain is breaking down, environmentally, socially, financially, morally and spiritually. Loneliness is now a subject for deep discussion and an issue that needs to be addressed, especially as we are currently experiencing the largest ever number of single people in their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties than ever before. Its vital that we regain our connection with each other before we get to a stage where emails, texts, face book, twitter et al become the only way we interact with each other and we forget how to really connect to the people around us by physically talking in person and face to face.

So, what a joy to spend part of the day in a meeting with a couple of TV producers sitting in the sunshine at one of my favourite places in London, St. Christopher’s Place. The area is buzzing with people and the restaurants are full and some strange soul is using a traffic cone as a musical instrument (akin to a spooky saxophone) and playing ‘Moon River’ much to the dismay of the coffee drinking community. And yes, at that moment it did feel like we were all part of a little community joined in our complete agreement that traffic cones should be left to do their very important job of sitting bolt upright on the ground rather than sticking out of someone’s mouth. However it’s not very often that many of us experience that sense of belonging to something or being part of a joint effort unless we are joined in horror at some disaster caused by nature or man that sears our senses.

Later in the day I went up to Kensington to a wonderful supper club where I met several friends and some new ones I had not met before. Once again, how perfect to talk to people face to face and be joined by 30 or so people all wanting to enjoy the food and the ambience of being together as human beings.

The very worst thing you can do when you are going through separation or divorce is to isolate yourself with only your TV, computer or mobile phone as your means of communication. You need to interact with people and become part of a community that supports you and in which you can contribute to. How is it possible to love and value yourself if you keep yourself to yourself? The more you share yourself with others the better you will feel about you and the more validation you receive from them, the more you will want to give and so it goes on. This cannot be done in cyber space I promise you! Its time to ‘join up’ as my grandmother used to advise me. In fact its time we all joined up a whole lot more. Look in your local paper, see what’s going on and rejoin your community or find a community that suits you. If you are feeling really adventurous, why not create your own community around you. A simple add in the local paper could bring a whole group of like minded people together that will grow and flourish into a community. Communication is what separates us from other life forms. The ability to speak to each other person to person and open ourselves up in a way that technology will never better is a complete joy. Anything other than verbal communication is a cop out for relationships for sure!

So here’s my request. Right now if you need some practical an emotional one to one support – call me. I can guarantee that by the time you get off the call you will feel 100% better than you did before we spoke. And the reason? Because it’s good to talk!

Till tomorrow,

Love Francine