Long Distance Dating

Are you ready to get out there and get dating again? If you are then this blog is for you.

Dating can be daunting if you are not prepared for it. This means that its important to have put enough time between the end of your previous relationship and the present and be really ready to let go of your old relationship so that you can make room for your new one. I love the title of Michael Buble’s song, “I just haven’t met you yet”. He says that he knows she is out there waiting for him and that it will be so amazing when they meet, which of course it will be. But its not going to happen unless you make it happen.

One way I can help you to take the plunge and get back out there is to give you the skills and tools to understand how you operate in relationship and how to avoid repeating patterns that don’t serve you. It’s much easier to be a confident dater if you firstly understand your self and secondly know what you are looking for and thirdly how to understand how males and females do dating differently. So please do call me if you are ready to be a dating success.

Once you are over your ex and ready to date you’ll want to dip you toe into that place everyone told you about. You know, the pool, which contains ‘plenty more fish in the sea’ where you are sure to find Mr or Mrs Right (or at least Mr or Mrs Right Now).

As I said, you’ll need to know what it is you want from a relationship but what about also staying open minded about where your new mate might live?

So here’s an idea. I’m going to suggest that you caste your net a bit further and wider and not limit yourself to your own local pool, however geographically accessible it may be. The reason is that if you met a gorgeous somebody, say on a far-flung beach and if they told you they only lived an hour or so from you back home, I believe you would be delighted to continue your romance. So why not keep an open mind about geography?

I have several clients who are managing long distant relationships and still stay connected, excited and looking forward to seeing each other. One of them did meet her present partner in a foreign country the other on an on-line dating site. The truth is that it’s not always easy to find your perfect partner right on your doorstep. Technology has opened up a whole new world to us and the upside is that we can meet people further afield who would not even have been on our radar. That’s a good thing because it gives us a much bigger selection.

So, unless he or she really is the other side of the world, (and even if they are) trains, boats and even planes can add an exciting dimension to your love life. If you meet someone you really do get on with, you’ll work out a way of being together in the short term, and if that works, it will inevitably lead to welcomed longer-term adjustments, and add to the richness of your life.

So what can you do to keep long distance love alive? Well first of all it’s vitally important to be in touch on a daily basis even if it’s just a text or an email. Everyone in ‘long distance love’ will agree with that. It may be some time before you can meet up again, so staying in touch is vital to stay connected.

And be inventive. If you cannot be with your partner in person, the Internet has hundreds ideas of what you can do to keep your love alive. Just for fun I gathered up some ideas from people I know doing this and here’s what they came up with:

There is a website (http://www.imvu.com/) which is a social network and 3D virtual world where you can meet and chat and have fun in animated scenes that you can create. (Bizarre!)

More normal: how about writing a letter on beautiful scented paper just like people used to do before texting. (Such a quaint idea I know, but who would not love to receive a handwritten letter that someone had put thought into?).

Take a look at this website. It’s a phone that replicates your kiss. (I could not believe that it worked but apparently it really does!)
www.geekologie.com/2008/03/kissphone_replicates_your_kiss.phpp

Why not Skype each other? One client in Portsmouth has a date night with her boyfriend in Scotland each week when both of them dress for dinner and have a romantic meal together over Skype. The only thing that is limiting about Skype is your own imagination. In fact you never need feel to far apart when you use this technology.

What about physical connection though? Distance can be a passion killer and its really challenging to keep intimacy ignited when you are miles and miles apart.

A male friend of mine (well it would have to be wouldn’t it!) suggested having an excellent memory bank of your intimate moments and was quite enthusiastic about telephone sex. The only downside to this is that you may begin to feel like an 0800 number and you certainly don’t want it to be a regular substitute for the real thing, but needs must and whatever adds to keeping you ‘connected’ can be a good thing.

It all sounds like it could be fun and that out of sight doesn’t have to mean out of mind. Of course there is no substitute for being together and you’ll need to keep in mind how often you can do that, the cost, the time and the logistics. If you can handle all of that physically and emotionally, then your long distance relationship may very well have plenty of mileage in it.

I would love to hear your comments about this and if you are struggling to keep your love alive over the miles, call me and I can offer you some excellent strategies for long distance dating.

Love Francine