Well, I’m just back from two weeks in the sunshine. Firstly I must apologise. There should have been blogs from the beach, but my little laptop refused to work or get connected to the hotel broadband. Perhaps it knew I needed a rest and the dodgy internet café in the local ‘village’ a windy bus ride away would not have been ideal for my beachside blogs. So you and I have been apart for 15 days and I have to say I have missed you. And whilst there is loads to catch up on over the next few days, let me start by telling you about holidaying alone and love in a different climate.

First of all, going it alone again. I have to say that it gets better and better. This is my second major holiday alone. On the plane I met a lady I had dinner with last year, which was fab and a whole group of friendly couples, and a very nice single guy who was holidaying without his girlfriend (as he had just taken her to the Maldives or some such place) and was taking a break alone. There were other singles at the hotel as there always is wherever you go these days. It would have been impossible to be lonely unless you ate in your room and sunbathed with a towel over your head by the pool or on the beach.

And, I also discovered how much I enjoy being with me. I know the times I like to eat and sleep. I know the music I like to listen to and the walks I like to take. Whilst there was always someone to chat too, everyone was very respectful of each other’s needs for peaceful time and instead of having to fit in with a friend or make specific plans and talk constantly, going it alone means you really can ‘please yourself’ which is very pleasing indeed.

Of course I had my usual set of mishaps. A windbreaker fell on my head and knocked me off my sunbed which caused great concern, a Tom and Gerry bump and many serviettes full of ice. I got my big toe stuck under the leg of the sunbed whilst trying to turn it round and lost my toe nail; I took the resort bus on the windiest night of the holiday and came back frozen, my hair on end with a lockjaw facelift, went to get some soup as I was so cold and knocked the whole huge tureen over on to the floor; I got locked out of my room several times (as I did last year) which meant calling for help from the same man who wanted a kiss for his services last year! I had a dodgy tennis lesson near a Bedouin site with a fit young guy who thought a lesson meant he was in a tournament, so he got very competitive and spun the ball or sent it to the far corner of the court. I met the masseur and fitness coach from a sister hotel who gave me a wonderful five minutes on the beach (working on my back – which raised a few eyebrows), and I was offered all kinds of black market alcohol and drugs from the hugest Egyptian I have ever seen whose catch phrase was ‘I give you something nice’. Whilst refusing him was challenging, I did have the feeling that I could be whisked away and sold for a few camels if I accepted his offer to meet under the lap pool. Apart from all that, I simply adored sitting on my terrace drinking an early morning cup of coffee and gazing out to sea, which was beyond incredible.

So what about Love! Lets start with the facts. Holiday romances are always wonderful as long as everyone is clear about what they are doing. Whilst I did not notice any meaningful ones get off the ground during my stay, other opportunities for some sunshine fun was on tap each day, should one feel so inclined. (Though my hunch is that it would not remain a very private matter with the locals!).

The reason for such abundance is that, men staff the hotels in Egypt. There are virtually no women at all. Perhaps a Thai lady doing massage, but other than that, if you see a woman working its extremely rare. These young fit guys’ work for 30 days without a break. Then they get a week off. On the beach and round the pool are women. Lots of them. Lots of lovely ladies in bikinis and (though I think its pushing it a bit in a Muslim country – some even topless). So you can imagine how hard it becomes for these young men. No pun intended.

They leave the hotel in the evening and go to their accommodation where they are virtually locked in for security reasons till the next morning. So, any ‘liaisons’, I understand, are clandestine and require MI5 type organization (with considerable amounts of money changing hands for protexia). I discovered that there is a underground organization rivaling Mossad where pretty much anything is possible.

And all of this because most of the guys will want to marry virgins from their own culture, so ‘practicing’ with ladies from outside the culture is most desirable if you are going to be able to teach your virgin anything. For women holidaying alone this means that you will get hit on often. You just have to be prepared for it and be able to laugh it off, and be polite but firm. They generally get the message but what’s really funny is that then they send someone else in for another try.

Love in Egypt is still very much dominated by male attitudes. Talking to my lovely beach man (who laid my towel out each day for a reasonable tip), most of the men would not like it if their wives worked outside the home or had too much ‘freedom’. Freedom for them means you can visit your friends or family but be home when I get there. My lovely beach man told me that “working in home ees not hard. (stssss – sound with his teeth after this comment – something he did a lot, which was kinda cute!) cooking, cleaning, ees not work. Is me work the hard. When I home I want see my wife smiling and be happy and play with me”.

So there you have it. ‘Simples’ as they say in the classics. All that you have to do to make a man happy in Egypt is smile be happy and play with him. I am sure this covers a wide range of activities, but lets face it, isn’t this what men want in any climate? Guys, tell me if I am wrong here, but if you came home to a smiling happy lady who wanted to play with you, how good would that make you feel? ☺

Holidaying alone can be so much fun and a real adventure. Just don’t expect to fall in love and ride your camel into the sunset. Although I am sure it does happen sometimes, expecting Omar Shariff to appear any time soon is probably wishful thinking. In Egypt every woman has ‘beautiful eyes’ and ‘a strong body’ (this, by the way, seems to be very important). And you should know, there will be more just like you coming on the next plane.

Love in a different climate is different, so take care, have fun and come back to your own particular reality refreshed and ready to get on with the next chapter of your life. After all, that’s what holidays are all about.

Lots of Love

Francine

PS 4 days left till my workshop on Saturday. Check out the website or email me at Francine@francinekaye.com