Did you get the love you wanted this weekend? Did you dish out the compliments, attribute the appreciation and really reciprocate all the good stuff that came your way? Were you a Boomerang?
It only takes one person in the relationship to make the difference. The challenge is that if things have been less than lovely for a long while, who feels like starting the ball rolling when it comes to making the other person feel good. But if not YOU then Who?
As far as I have seen with the couples I work with, individuals who are looking to deepen new relationships or the men and women who are ready to love again, if you come from a place of being right about how wrong the other person is for not giving you what you want, you have a stalemate from the word go. In fact I would stick my neck out and say that you are throwing a dodgy boomerang.
In business networks, there is an expression called ‘Givers Gain’. This means only those people who consistently give will gain anything from their fellow networkers. This doesn’t necessarily mean passing them new business it means taking the time to understand their needs and be aware of what they do and build a relationship with them. In intimate relationship, you don’t always have to be tending to your partner’s every need, just be interested and available, complimentary and appreciative. Guess what? Just like Givers Gain, it will come right back to you. Boomerang!
So here are few tips for Being a Boomerang in Love. And these are not glib recommedations because it’s not always easy to give and not receive back immediately. Just as it takes a while in business to build relationships, intimacy and lasting love also take time to build. It may take time until your Love Boomerang comes back to you. Only you can be the judge of how much time, but just know it may not be tomorrow or even this week. When your partner has been unused to receiving from you, they may not trust that it is sustainable and vice-versa. There used to be a song about a boomerang not coming back. Patience is required but one thing for sure; unless you throw the thing out there you have no chance of a return of your investment.
1. Imagine your partner has a banner above their head that says “Make Me Matter” and you have to do something each day to fulfill their request. What would you do?
2. Find something each day to say ‘Thank You’ for to your partner. I’m not joking – it really makes a difference
3. Smile at your partner. Go on; turn up those corners as you enter your house, or as you see your partner. Make it warm and include your eyes and see what comes back to you.
4. Listen closely to something they are telling you about themselves. Perhaps it’s what they did, what they want to do or how they feel. No matter what it is, just listen without judgment, criticism or even comment.
5. If you still believe that there is mileage left in your relationship, keep throwing boomerangs. Whatever you can think of that isn’t about you, but is about making them feel good, throw and keep throwing.
And, if your love boomerang really does not come back, give me a call and we will look at your technique and how I can help you improve it or we will discover what stops it coming back and where we go from here.
Till next time
Love Francine
Don’t forget to tune in to Glastonbury Radio tomorrow at 12pm-1pm for “It Must Be Love’ for news, views and interviews about everything ‘Relationship’. Do send me your texts, emails and Skype’s to Studio2@Glastonburyradio.com.
