Ever felt you would never get over someone you loved? Whether they left you or you left them, makes no difference. Doesn’t it just feel like a sadness that lingers?

You see if you could, you would be able to put them out of your mind and get on with your life. You would do the dishes, go to work, dance, see your friends and sit in the sunshine. You’d be able to ‘move on’ as they say in the classics and the ‘if only’s’ would go away.

So one way of getting over love is to take a tough stand. Resist it and try to push it out of your mind. Only I have found that though some of the memories will fade (like memories do) many still remain. So could there be another way?

What if what you are feeling isn’t sadness after all. What if actually that’s what loving someone feels like? And actually what’s painful is the trying to deny the love you still feel.

What if every time you had a thought about that person - you know, like when you are reminded of something you did together, a way you were together, that instead of trying to erase it or think another thought; instead of all of that, you just visited with that person in your mind for a while. You let them and the love in.

Ok, perhaps you might actually cry. Don’t resist the tears. Ask yourself “what are the tears for”? If you allow yourself to really ask the question, you’ll probably find the tears are the tender place inside of you that felt love and still feels it.

And it’s funny how just by thinking of that person, you can almost touch them, feel their skin, smell their special smell, and almost taste their kiss. You can visit them in your thoughts so vividly that they ‘feel’ real.

Is this dangerous? Does it stop you ‘getting over’ them and moving on with your life? Surely this is a recipe for remaining in the past?

I’ve been giving it a lot of personal thought and observing my clients ‘trying’ to let go of past love and you know what? It doesn’t work. And the reason is because if you truly loved you never ‘get over love’.

That feeling you call sadness is not sadness, its love. The disappointment you feel that the person could not be who you wanted them to be is a judgment about them and yet the truth is that if they are in your thoughts and you feel sad, then you still feel love.

I have found that its so much easier and much less painful to admit that I still love and always will. I don’t have to deny it or ‘get over it’. The truth is that my heart is big enough to continue to let more love in.

Its not like the love that is there is taking up too much room.

The love that is there, serves to let me know that I can love. Why would I deny that?

So if you are in the business right now of pretending not to love, finding all the reasons why you ‘shouldn’t love’ and scolding yourself for not being able to ‘let go’ and ‘move on’, why not give yourself a break.

Put both your hands up and admit that you love. Big Time. With all your justification and rationalization, you love and there is nothing you or the other person can do about it. You have a huge capacity to open your heart and you refuse to beat yourself up about it.

Now I know that some people will read this and literally have a light bulb moment. And some people will want to dig a bit deeper.

If that’s the case, go ahead and call me for a chat and we’ll discuss your specific situation in more detail. I’d love to do that with you because I want you to be able to keep you heart open to as much love as possible.

You can call me on 0208 416 0121 or email me at
Francine@francinekaye.com

Lots of Love

Francine

PS By the way, I’ll be on The Vanessa Show on Channel 5 at 2.15pm on Thursday 21st April. It’s a interesting subject and one I would love some feedback on! Fx