Well, it happens to all of us at some time. There you are minding your own business, (or in my case, mid twirl on the dance floor), and he or she shows up with their new partner, looking…. well looking just as they did. And time stands still. And your heart ends up in your stomach. And your legs almost give way.

Turn up or lower the volume, depending on how long ago it was, how much you thought you were over it, how much you still care, or how much you realize you don’t care in the slightest.

And because it happens to all of us at some time or another (and its rather useful it happens to me too because with the best will in the world, I am only human and it makes it even easier to empathise with all my clients going through the same stuff), there has to be strategies to cope with it PDQ as they say in the classics.

So think about it. Would it really work if you guys were back together again? You have to remember why you broke up in the first place. If you were the leaver – you had your reasons and they probably would resurface after a brief honeymoon period and if they left you – well you know what? That could happen again after the first flush of reunion and remember how that one hurt the first time around – its worse the second, third, fourth etc. Been there and done that? Then what are you thinking!!?

No, far better to put thoughts that don’t serve you in that nice filing cabinet in your mind labeled ‘Ex Files’. Go home, find something distractingly lovely to do that makes you feel good, have another drink, move away from the scene, ‘mind the gap’ and tell yourself that he or she is not worth it. Keep telling yourself that you deserve so much better – you know why? Because you do. You just have to believe it.

Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. Letting go of the past allows you to be fully alive in the moment. Holding on to the past keeps you stuck in a porridgy mess that keeps you weighed down. The truth is that you have no choice but to accept the reality that it’s over. If your ex is with someone else, then you have more than enough evidence that it’s over. And to resist reality is like telling it to stop raining because you forgot your umbrella.

No, there’s nothing for it but to hold on to your dignity. Tomorrow is a new day in your life – grab it with both hands. Your heart will heal, I promise and you too will live to love another day. 

I have some fabulous ‘letting go strategies’ that I have personally tried and tested and so have hundreds of my clients, and they work. So if you are finding this really tough and know you would benefit from some support to help you to release, accept and let go effectively, whilst keeping your heart open, just call me to find out how you can get over your Ex and get on with your life.
Till tomorrow,

Love Francine