There’s a wonderful saying that relationships come into your life for a ‘Reason’, a ‘Season’ or a ‘Lifetime’.

This morning, ‘walking in the park, watching winter turn to spring’ (I think there is song in there somewhere), in the most glorious sunshine, I found myself thinking about the relationships we have in our lives.

Lets take ‘Reason Relationships’. These are so wonderful. They may be brief, but make no mistake, they are powerful. A typical ‘reason relationship’ can be transitional. This means that it comes along to take you from one relationship to another. Could be the first relationship you have after a divorce or the end of a long term relationship, or after bereavement.

This wonderful person arrives in your life and is the catalyst who helps you recover from the pain of the past and start your new single life. He or she may have many of the qualities you would look for in a long term partner. He or she also reignites your passion and reminds you of who you used to be when love was fresh and exciting. They allow you to move forward and get over your past partner. They may also be your first love after a long gap between partners. You regain your confidence, heal your heart and learn how to love again. And then, its over. Often it’s to do with timing. You may be ready for a more meaningful relationship, or think you are, and he or she is in a different place. But, whatever the reason, it ends because it must.  And, the pain of its ending can often times resurrect the pain of the past and feel even more painful than previous endings.

But the pain is bitter sweet because there was a ‘reason’ for this relationship. And the reason was to help you make the transition from where you were to where you are headed. The reason was to allow you to feel again, regain your confidence and identity. Whatever you experience at its demise, 'Reason Relationships' with all they provide, are a vital part of your growth.

‘Season Relationships’ last much longer. Often for many years or decades. These are designed for us to experience the joy and challenges that full blown relationships always bring. They demand we overcome conflicts and confrontations and the unpredictable situations that life throws at us over the years.  'Season Relationships' offer an opportunity for growth, and we do grow within them,  but sadly that opportunity is never completely fulfilled because when the going gets really tough, one or the other partner throws in the towel. Yes, they have good reason. Yes, they will probably have given it their best shot and yes, there may be too much water under the bridge to even want to stick around and work on it. Yes, it may have even lasted 30 years, but at some point someone decides they have had enough and leave the building. 'Season Relationships' include children, grandchildren, businesses, properties, and all kinds of assets, memories and legacies, which make them altogether harder to complete than ‘Reason Relationships’ and may leave you wondering why on earth you spent so much time in them. Much later, you realize that your ‘Season Relationship’ now offers you an opportunity for personal understanding. You learn about what happened, why it happened and the role you played in it. You realize that your Season Relationship was the hugest growth gift of your life. And one that will pave the way for all your future relationships. (Well, you do if you work with me ☺).

Then there is the ‘Lifetime Relationship’. You may be lucky enough to have one of these right from the get go, or not have one till much later in your life. Whenever it arrives, it lasts for the rest of your life and is never replaced.   A ‘Lifetime Relationship’ is one where you can give and receive love and learn how to manage the dynamics of relationship. In it you’ll find ease and a way of being that allows the other person to be who they are and allows you to be who you are. You like this person very much. You respect them and enjoy them. The love is deep and comfortable and caring and regard for each other is beyond question.

And yes it is possible. Every day I have the honour of showing people how to create that kind of love. You just need to know how.

And as I walked in the Spring sunshine this morning and experienced the birth of a new season in all the buds on the trees and the warmth in the light breeze, I was once again filled with that optimism that ‘love is in the air’ (another song I think) and there really is hope for all of us to find and keep the love we want. For a lifetime.

Lots of Love

Francine