There’s a big question to start off your day. In the light of the Wayne Rooney fiasco (really though!?) not to mention John Terry, Tiger Woods and Ashley Cole, (oh sorry I have), why do these men pay for sex? These guys have perfectly pleasant and lovely wives and yet they feel the need to pay for sex with prostitutes who are much less attractive in every way to their partners. Why is that?

This is the question OK magazine phoned to ask me yesterday and my comments can be seen in this Tuesday’s 14th September, publication and as you interested enough to be reading this now, I’m also going to attempt to answer this perennial question immediately.

Here’s my take. And to be fair, I don’t know either Wayne or ‘Waynetta’ and I have been doing this work long enough to know that its pretty hard to look at  someone else’s marriage or a long term relationship from the outside and make a real assessment unless they are willing to let me look.  However, because I have been doing this work for a very long time, chances are I am not too far off the mark and I’d also love to hear what you think.

So lets take Wayne (well, no, I know you don’t want and neither do I and probably poor old Coleen is a bit iffy about him right now too). Truth is that no one can accuse him of being the best looking footballer in the game and yet he and Coleen were childhood sweethearts so she clearly saw all the lovely things about him that remain hidden to the rest of us.

Wayne grows up to become a brilliant footballer and Coleen - with clever management - grows up to become a brand. She creates a following of wannabees and is all over the front covers and Wayne kicks footballs and all goes well. But when a woman becomes as powerful in her own right as her man, how does her man manage it? Could this be the beginning of dissention in the ranks?

Possibly, but it did look like he managed it quite well because Coleen still had plenty of time to be attentive to him. Then she got pregnant and the focus wasn’t just on her career but on the baby too and as she expanded, Wayne withdrew. Some men, for sure, are just not turned on by pregnancy. Could be that Wayne is one of them. But most men are so excited about the birth of their first child and are mature enough to know that a weight gain is inevitable and they love their partners' enough to appreciate the changes they are going through. Not Wayne. A man whose brains are in his feet, and that’s being generous; a man who doesn’t have the sense to realize that he is risking his new family, and thinks he is totally entitled to ‘play away’ without his kit on whilst his wife (yes, his wife – the one he made the vows to?), bears his child; a man who believes his money and position entitles him to do exactly as he pleases, goes ahead and shoots straight into his own goal – big mistake Wayne!

The baby comes along and along with the baby comes the story of Wayne’s World which includes nights spent in the arms of paid prostitutes (two at a time) and in one fell swoop; life will never be the same.

Here’s the thing. And Wives and Girlfriends beware! When the baby arrives its mother will fall in love with it. That’s how we are made guys, it’s a nature nurture thing and just as well as these helpless bundles need all the love they can get. But, and here’s the But: men tell me that they feel neglected, like they are second or less on the list and even though they love their offspring, they are not happy to share their Wives’ or Girlfriends body with little Nigel or Nigella. Virtually every relationship breakdown with the young couples I meet, cites problems beginning during pregnancy and/or after the children are born, with men feeling unappreciated at the top of the scoreboard.

The fact that a mum of a newborn is tired out her mind most of the time and no one told her that she has to be as conscious of her partner as she is of her child, means that instinctively she makes a choice and that choice is usually feed and comfort baby, eat strange things from the fridge and sleep whenever possible.  Guys, I can understand, may well feel a little put out by this withdrawal of attention for a bit, but does that mean it gives them carte blanche to go plant their seeds in another garden? Or am I digging too deep here with a rusty shovel?

Lucky for me at the very moment I was asking myself this question; a very wise man arrived (yes, the same one as before) and gave me the benefit of his extensive experience in these matters by informing me that there is no real psychological reason for all this straying. The real and only reason is that paying for prostitutes is fun, its sex without strings, you get to call the shots and its certain you will score! Well that’s good then Wayne.

But big fun comes at a price when you are in the public eye. It also makes a complete mockery of marriage and begs the question; why not just stay single and then you can do whatever you want. Has no one thought of this I wonder?

I guess this goes back to my previous blog that if ‘Love is Emotion without Logic’ then paid sex for guys with cash and pregnant wives (or tried and tested predictable partners) is simply, as my very wise man put it - ‘Logic Without Emotion’.

I’m not a man so I really can’t say for sure, but for sure, men have been visiting prostitutes for long enough to provide us with masses of evidence to support this theory.

If you are trying to rebuild your relationship after an affair, very much like we will watch Wayne do over the next weeks, (because this one will run and run), then please do get in touch because believe it or not, despite the cynics, it is possible to recover from an affair – the only proviso is that you must both really want to.

Till tomorrow,

Love Francine